guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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