Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
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