Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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