That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Never underestimate the power of titties
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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