It's Friday. Sex?
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
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