Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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