I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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