"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
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