Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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