I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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