I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
