these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
These tits shall not be calmed
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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