I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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