I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
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once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
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WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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