My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
