I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Randomize
