im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Randomize
