Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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