I think i sorta joined a cult last night
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Randomize
