Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I hope mine doesn't look like that
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize