Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She bit a glass in half.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
