Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
