I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
