at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
