Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Barsexuality is the new black.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
