I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
