somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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