Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
