He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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