The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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