but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Randomize
