wat bout pragnant strippers??
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
