My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
