where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
