you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
