is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
