Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
You took a bar mat shot.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The feeling are messing with the penis
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
