lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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