Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
