I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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