I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize