Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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