She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
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I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
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Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
we should paint friendship bongs
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