How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
