apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
