Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
