apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
