So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
