Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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