We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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