even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
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