Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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