I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
