I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
