Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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