can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
