is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
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whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
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its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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