Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
Randomize
