So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
