The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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