Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize