I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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