she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
