so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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