I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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