Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
