Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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