He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
