i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
