the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
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Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
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not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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