I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
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