I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Randomize
