you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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