Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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