I like to think it a success when the cops are called
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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