Sponge bath it is.
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Randomize
