Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
